Symbiosis
Psychologically, however, both tendencies [sadism and masochism] are the outcomes of one basic need, springing from the inability to bear the isolation and weakness of one's own self.
I suggest calling the aim which is at the basis of both sadism and masochism: symbiosis.
Symbiosis, in this psychological sense, means the union of one individual self with another self (or any other power outside of the own self) in such a way as to make each lose the integrity of its own self and to make them completely dependent on each other.
The sadistic person needs his object just as much as the masochistic needs his. Only instead of seeking security by being swallowed, he gains it by swallowing somebody else.
In both cases the integrity of the individual self is lost.
In one case I dissolve myself in an outside power; I lose myself. In the other case I enlarge myself by making another being part of myself and thereby I gain the strength I lack as an independent self. It is always the inability to stand the aloneness of one's individual self that leads to the drive to enter into a symbiotic relationship with someone else.
It is evident from this why masochistic and sadistic trends are always blended with each other.
Although on the surface they seem contradictions, they are essentially rooted in the same basic need. People are not sadistic or masochistic, but there is a constant oscillation between the active and the passive side of the symbiotic complex, so that it is often difficult to determine which side of it is operating at a given moment.
In both cases individuality and freedom are lost.
Bibliography: Erich Fromm, Fear of Freedom, Routledge (2001)
I suggest calling the aim which is at the basis of both sadism and masochism: symbiosis.
Symbiosis, in this psychological sense, means the union of one individual self with another self (or any other power outside of the own self) in such a way as to make each lose the integrity of its own self and to make them completely dependent on each other.
The sadistic person needs his object just as much as the masochistic needs his. Only instead of seeking security by being swallowed, he gains it by swallowing somebody else.
In both cases the integrity of the individual self is lost.
In one case I dissolve myself in an outside power; I lose myself. In the other case I enlarge myself by making another being part of myself and thereby I gain the strength I lack as an independent self. It is always the inability to stand the aloneness of one's individual self that leads to the drive to enter into a symbiotic relationship with someone else.
It is evident from this why masochistic and sadistic trends are always blended with each other.
Although on the surface they seem contradictions, they are essentially rooted in the same basic need. People are not sadistic or masochistic, but there is a constant oscillation between the active and the passive side of the symbiotic complex, so that it is often difficult to determine which side of it is operating at a given moment.
In both cases individuality and freedom are lost.
Bibliography: Erich Fromm, Fear of Freedom, Routledge (2001)
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